Follower of Christ; resting in His grace. Experiencing fullness of Joy in the presence of my Savior. Lover of life and all things crafty.
I graduated in May 2010 with my B.A. in Linguistics, intent on teaching ESL. However, God saw fit to redirect my path to a job in Corporate America, and I now see how He uniquely fitted me for where I am today. Though my heart is oriented toward home, I am joyfully pursuing Christ in the path He has established for me. I do not know what my future holds, but I know the One who holds my future.
Last weekend I attended a conference called Building Tomorrow's Church....or as it's regular attendees lovingly tag it "BTC." The topic of the weekend was "Wisdom from Proverbs" and what gleaming jewels were there for the taking. Below are my takeaways from the four topics: Purity, Speech, Work, and Money.
Session 1 - Introduction (Prov 9:10)
Definition of a Proverb: A succinct statement designed to impart wisdom--but not an absolute promise. They are intended not to make us "do-gooders" but to reveal us as "no-gooders." They point to the ultimate Wisdom--Christ!
Proverbs tend to reveal the theme of the heart: pride or thanksgiving.
Is there a pulse to your spiritual state? What is your spiritual vitality?
Session 2 - Purity(Prov 5:1-20)
Proverbs has two kinds of "enjoying" (a) in moderation, or (b) in excess.
Sexuality has a spiritual dimension that sets it apart from the other areas of purity - and therefore it has a stronger, more intense focus.
When it comes to sexuality, there is NO moderation commandment.....there are only two options:
(a) complete abstention where it is illegitimate, and
(b) complete enjoyment where it is legitimate
God creates the desire for "oneness." The desire for marriage and sex is natural (meaning, designed by God to be an integral part of humans), but Satan twists and distorts it.
See the holy beauty and rightness of purity the way God designed it
Session 3 - Speech
Words are not neutral: they give life, or they bring death (Proverbs 18:21)
The tongue reveals the heart...the things that come out of your mouth reveal what you are longing to be satisfied with.
"If I were to sit and listen to your spoken words for the past month, whose kingdom would those words serve?" ~ Nick Kennicott
Do I put as high a premium on my words as God does?
Four Points of Speech
God has a holy standard for how we are to speak and listen
This side of heaven, we will never fully measure up to God's standard for our speech
Jesus fulfilled what we failed to do: He spoke perfect words.
Our day-by-day failure to use our words as we ought is a rejection of Jesus Christ--the Word.
"If you remember nothing else, remember this: Word problems are heart problems." ~ Nick Kennicott
Session 4 - Work(Prov 6:6-11)
Work: Any task that accomplishes a purpose.
Work is dignified because God created it and called it good.
Implied necessity of work (see the 4th and 8th commandments)....there is a command to work--not just to rest....and we must work for what we have/want.
A sluggard = a fool: one who lacks wisdom to work in the way he/she was designed.
Laziness: Not filling the role that God created you to fill.
Laziness is a moral and spiritual issue (a matter of the heart)
Session 5 - Money(Prov 30:8-9)
God gives us what we have
God knows what is best for individuals
The was man knows the dangers of poverty and riches
I have been gifted with so much to think about. Praise God for His severe mercy in revealing sin and providing the means of healing.
"What??!!!!" Yet again I faltered and broke the smooth pattern of a rock-step by charging forward into a triple.
"Close your eyes."
"Why? I'm having a hard time guessing where you're going as it is."
"That's what's tripping you up. Close your eyes and just feel my leading throught the pressure on your back and the movement of my hand."
I closed my eyes and felt complete helplessness engulf me. Here I was, in the middle of a dance floor with few other dancers and many more observers. I was already self-consious about my lack of dance knowledge, and fearful of looking like a complete idiot.
"Now just relax and listen to my leading."
Relax. Right . . . he makes it sound so simple. Then it hit me: Anne, he knows what he's doing, he knows how to lead. You can trust him.
Off we went. Triple-step rock-step. Triple-step rock-step. Then a throw-out and spin. I suddenly found myself alone on the dance floor . . . no pressure on my back, no hand holding mine.
"Shane, I don't know where you are." What was I supposed to be doing? Uncertainty gripped my again and I was about to open my eyes. . .
"I won't throw you out and leave you there. I'll always bring you back in."
He caught my hand. Another underarm spin and we were back in closed position. Triple-step rock-step. Triple-step rock-step. I fully relaxed and just let my feet go wherever my body was guided . . . my eyes closed the entire time.
It felt natural. We were moving together - in unison. Our footwork was different but complementary--we had different rolls to fill. The moment I tried to guess what he was doing or where he was going . . . it threw our dancing out of joint. Only when I closed my eyes, stopped guessing, and completely relaxed into Shane's guiding arms did we move fluidly as a single unit.
How much more with our God? He is the lead dance partner. . . . we are to follow. He knows the steps of our lives and how He wants to guide us there. How many times have I said: "Oh, I know where you're leading me. . . "? It's not that I don't trust Him, it's that I think I know based off past experience, and I start moving that way.
In swing dancing, there are certain moves that precede a transition to a different step. However, the same signal can be used for any number of different steps. A rock-step (for example) could lead to another triple-step set, or to the triple-step stomp-stomp of an eight-step set. It all depends on the man's intentions. The woman needs not to question or guess where the man is going. She simply allows him to guide her body into the position he wants. Is she an active participant in the dance? Absolutely. The woman's active role is one of trust. She trusts that her partner will not place her in a position where they will collide. Her's is not the place to question: why? where? how? She is to trust and rest.
It is no different than our role with God. Are we to be blind, dumb sheep that go wherever? No. We are called to seek Him and know Him so that we will recognize His will and calling. We are to know His character so we can discern His voice amidst the calls of the world and our own sinful flesh. But many times we need to close our eyes and simply rest and trust--not guess. Only then can we move fluidly in His will . . . knowing that He will never "throw us out" and leave us out there.
He is growing and developing our dependence on Him in order to bring glory to His name. Just as a well executed dance is beautiful to watch, so is the life of one joyfully resting in humble reliance on Him.
As the song ended and Shane and I left the dance floor, several observers remarked: "Wow! You two looked great out there!" I didn't know what I was doing, and I never saw any of it, but as long as my partner could lead knowing he had my complete trust . . . that's all that was necessary.
I may have disappeared from cyberspace. . . . but I am still putting fog on a mirror. Life for me this past year has been full of changes. . . and the balance of commitments and priorities leaves me little time to blog.
Since I last posted:
Changes at work (reorganization, transfers, training. . . etc) = LOTS of overtime required to keep up with the influx of new business--10 hour days anyone?
I recently transferred to another department, which means a new schedule and job training. I like the people I'm working with, and I'm excited to have a bit more time in the morning (I can sleep-in 'till 5:30am YAY!!).
I was approached by my new manager who told me he wants me to write the "desktop procedures" for the department!! These procedures will eventually be expanded into the department training manuals--which he wants me to do as well. I've been wanting to do this for awhile now--but my former department had no interest in it at the time--so this opportunity comes as an unexpected blessing!
Night classes (have I mentioned I dislike math?) I'm taking an evening Accounting class for job enrichment, and to complete my Administrative Assistant Certificate. Accounting homework is super time consuming and very frustrating. . . when I find the time and mental capacity to tackle it. However, I've kept my head above water by creating "cheat sheets," ie graphic versions of the formulas used in accounting equations.
These are the two basic themes of my life right now. Not much excitement here!
Despite the ever-present busyness and exhaustion, God has been good. Each day He reminds me of His gracious and sovereign control over my life. He daily dispenses grace and strength to ride through the fatigue or frustration. Even though my days have been fuller and busier than ever before, I have been able to rest in Him. I'm a doer. . . I want to achieve, to control my environment, to make things happen. . . .so I would normally become very stressed and irritable in situations like my current one. But something totally foreign to me--something completely outside of me, detached from me--has settled over my soul. A peace. . . a stability. . . a sense of quietude, contentment, rest. Only God can perform such wonders in the lives and hearts of His children.
I'll leave you with a little something I saw on my way home from work today.
The human voice is an amazing instrument. Check out this video from T-Mobile (you know, the company that did the dance at the train station...) No instruments were used in the making of this video.
On another note--no pun intended--I recently found some of the music from the harmony group lil' sis and I were part of for several years. Boy were those good times! G & B, I miss singing around the piano with you!
. . .the accused shall enjoy the right to a speedy and public trial, by an impartial jury of the State and district wherein the crime shall have been committed, which district shall have been previously ascertained by law, and to be informed of the nature and cause of the accusation; to be confronted with the witnesses against him; to have compulsory process for obtaining witnesses in his favor, and to have the Assistance of Counsel for his defence.
~Amendment 6 to the US Constitution
I have not committed a crime, but I am going to court. Today I will fulfill my civic duty and report for jury duty. Most people groan at the prospect, but I'm one of the few geeks, nerds, and apparently mentally "messed-up" people who actually enjoys going. Not that I LOVE to spend my time sitting in a courtroom, but I do find a deep-lurking sense of pleasure and fascination with our legal system.
I--for one--am thankful that we have the right to a trial by jury of our peers--and I will do everything I can to support that right--even if it means interrupting my work week to sit for 8 hours listening to (if I'm lucky) attorneys and judges rapid-fire questions at that poor specimen in the jury box, or (if I'm unlucky) reading in it's entirety the biography of Noah Webster I kept intending to pick up but never quite got around to.
I don’t have anything against people who use Facebook. I personally choose not to have one, and I have often been asked why. When I answer, the asking individual often seems to feel the need to apologize for their own Facebook account. Why? I was asked—and gave—my own personal reasons for not joining. I was not condemning the other individual for their decision.
However, I do have some concerns about the site in general…so, even though you did not ask, I would like to give you my reasons for NOT joining Facebook.
1. It’s a waste of time—How many hours can someone spend in the virtual realm? I have enough trouble not wasting time as it is…why add another distraction.
2. I don’t have time—Work starts for me at 7:00 a.m. and I’m up by 4:15 to make sure I get there on time. After work, I also have evening classes—which by-the-way don’t end until 10:00 p.m. I’m usually not in bed ‘til between 11:15 and 11:30 p.m.
3. It’s a faux relationship builder. What happened to spending time with the family and friends that are flesh-and-blood living beings? I covet the nights I don’t have class, and I can sit down to dinner with my family. Sometimes I still feel like an international student living in my own home. I just found out someone was pregnant with twins—and I didn’t even know she’d been married for several years already. Talk about being out of the loop!
a. Virtual “friendships” (even with those you already know in real life) are shallow. If you are willing to friend me on Facebook, yet you never even talk to me in person/real life, I don’t consider you a real friend. A true friend who wants to build into the relationship will be willing—and desirous—to spend time: on the phone, to sit and write a letter/email, to go for coffee—even if it only works out once or twice a year.
4. It breaks down the barriers of discretion—How many intimate details of daily living are people willing to share over the internet, that they would be mortified (or even just slightly embarrassed) to speak or elude to in the presence of another person. The internet has made it easy for people to create a persona for themselves that isn’t necessarily accurate. As the country song goes: “I’m so much cooler online Yeah, I'm cooler online.” Do I really need to know what color bra you are wearing (yes, that was a real status update phenomenon on Facebook last year)? Or what celebrity you think you look most like? Or that you got “stoned” on your homemade skittles vodka (with pics of course)???? Really people?! Is there no shame anymore?!
5. It’s ridiculous! Imagine what life would be like if Facebook went live. If we LIVED Facebook!!! How absurd would life be?!!!
I have been searching for work casually since Oct./Nov. of last year, and seriously since March/April of this year. Unfortunately, it felt like I was fishing in a dry pond. Not only has the economy created a tough job market, but my major didn't equip me with many of the skills that employers look for: 1 year minimum office experience; proficiency in excel, access, outlook, adobe, quickbooks....etc. That's all well and good when you plan on getting a Masters Degree and teaching at a college, but not so great when God changes those carefully laid plans just before you graduate.
Now, I'm not accusing God of "getting in my way." On the contrary, I feel like a living example of Proverbs 16:9
The heart of man plans his way, but the LORD directs his steps.
It has been 5 months since I graduated. Five months of looking for work. Full-time, part-time...it didn't matter; I just needed something.
Several times there were "close-calls." I would get a call for an interview--sometimes even go for an interview, only to hear silence afterwards.
I sent out 39 applications/resumes and cover letters to over 26 different companies (I often applied for more than 1 position), networked with people from work, school, church...and continued to pray and seek part-time work in the interim.
Out of all that, I only had 4 interviews...1 over the phone, and 3 in person. Of those, only 2 places called to set up a 2nd interview, and of those 2, only 1 actually followed through with the 2nd interview. And that is where I was eventually hired.
Look at how God--in His timing--provided work for me.
In July, my family visited a church that my coworker attends. A gentleman ("M") at the church approached us after the service to welcome us. He has 2 daughters, and saw that Mom and Dad had 2 daughters too. After chatting for a bit, he learned that I had recently graduated, and was looking for work. He gave me his business card and told me to email him my resume. He said they didn't have any current openings, but that a few might possibly come up towards the end of the year. I thanked him, and sent him my resume--then promptly forgot about the whole thing.
Three weeks ago, I received a call from the HR manager of the company ("C"), saying she had received my resume from "M"--who, as it turns out, is the president of the company! She wanted me to come in and interview for an open customer service position. The interview was scheduled for September 7th.
Humanly speaking, I did almost everything you are not supposed to in/for an interview:
a) Arrive early--My directions were wrong, so I arrived just on the button.
b) Dress conservatively--I still had bright red toe-nail-polish on (BIG No-no!) In my defense, my clothing was a conservative black, and I was wearing nylons.
c) Never wear your hair down, especially if it's curly; curly hair (when down) looks unprofessional--My hair was still wet from the shower, and was not cooperating with my updo, so I wore it down.
d) Don't wear dangly earrings--Oops.
e) Be prepared--I hadn't finished filling out the job application (bad bad BAD), and my allergies were acting up, so my head was stuffed, my nose was a dripping faucet, and I felt lousy.
When I walked into the building, I immediately felt at home. I felt comfortable. The hour long interview went well, and I felt like I connected with the HR manager--which allowed me to be completely open and honest about my lack of experience. The next step was to meet with the company president. We had a 5 minute chat--since, as he said, I had already had my preliminary interview with him. (Who would have guessed that he was evaluating and assessing me while we were talking at church?). He told me that "C" liked me and thought I might be a good fit, and that I should hear from them by Thursday.
That Friday, I called to follow-up, as I had heard nothing by Thursday. I again called the following Tuesday--both times I had to leave a voicemail. Still hearing nothing, I emailed the HR manager on Friday, Sept. 17th.
Monday, September 20th, while in class, I received an email from "C" apologizing for the delay and asking if I was available the next day (Tues. the 21st) for a 2nd interview. Unfortunately, I emailed her back too late to get the Tues. slot, but we were able to reschedule for Thursday (the 23rd) at 10am.
Thursday morning rolled around, and found me nervous. I actually interviewed twice, and with 3 people that day. The first was with the head of the department, and the second was with the 2 supervisors under him. Again, I felt very comfortable, and things seemed to progress naturally. I really sensed that I could be "real" with everyone and not have to word things "just so." At the end of the interview, I was told I should expect to hear from "C" sometime the following week.
That was this Thursday. Friday morning I got a call from "C" extending an official job offer. However, as it turns out, they want to hire me for a position other than the one I initially interviewed for. Rather than work customer service, I will be the administrative assistant of the entire department. That means I'm supporting 3 individuals: the 3 I interviewed with on Thurs. To my knowledge, this position was not open at the time I interviewed, but was rather created for me.
I am so grateful for God's provision in this area. Things were getting tight for me, yet I couldn't even get hired part-time for a temporary job at a coffee shop or bookstore. I was getting quite discouraged, and then, out-of-the-blue, God orchestrated a Monday phone call which led to a Thursday interview, a Friday job offer, and a Monday start date. It has been amazing to see how God so clearly orchestrated everything, and I am constantly praising Him for it.
I have no desire to repeat these past months of famine, but through it all God has revealed that what He had planned was best for my soul. Not finding work...was the best for my soul. Not getting to go visit my sister, BIL and new niece with the rest of my family...was best for my soul. Having interviews without call-backs...was best for my soul.
If any other situation were better for my soul, God would have placed me there. Whether in times of plenty, or times of famine, wherever I am is God's best for my soul.
The other week, Lil' Sis and I were invited on a hike with Z, D, and J. "Don't worry," we were told. "It's a 16 mile hike, but J did it in only 4 hours...so it's not too difficult." Only 16 miles. Only 4 hours. Doesn't sound too bad; besides, what a great opportunity to hike a peak I've never hiked before, and catch up with friends.
Well, what we didn't know is that this peak is the highest in the county--with an elevation of 5,687 feet. The 16 mile round trip begins at 1,687 feet. That's an elevation gain of 4,000 feet in 8 miles!
We met at church (the halfway point) at 6am, and from there drove to the trail head. After an Albertsons stop to tie up some loose ends, we officially began our trek at 7:43am.
The beginning of the hike was lovely. The weather was cool, the trail not too steep, with an abundance of trees. Soon, however, the trail grew steeper, the air grew warmer, and our steps grew slower. Actually, I should say MY steps grew slower. Z and D took off up the trail at an insane--in my opinion--pace. J stayed behind with C and I and kept the pace of the slowest hiker: me. For some reason, I was really struggling up the trail. The trail definitely had an incline, but it was not as steep as others I'd been on.
After a time, we breaked for a snack. I had one of C's homemade "branola" bars--which was a BAD idea because it soon upset my stomach, and made the trek even more difficult.
C and J chatted most of the way up, stopping and waiting for me after every couple of turns. I just huffed and puffed along behind.
Soon my muscles and lungs screamed at me to stop. I willed myself forward. "You idiot! Can't you feel me burning?"
" I don't care! I am getting to the top of this mountain!"
"You've already gone further than you ever have. You still have to go back this same distance. Conserve some energy"
"I know, I know. But I know I can do it. Besides, I don't want to look like a total wimp. I don't understand why I'm struggling so much."
"Hellooooooooooo...Have you been listening to your heart-rate recently? You're going through the roof!"
"Ok, quick check. 20 beats over 6 seconds...that's 200 beats/min. A good rate is 80% of your max. Max is 220 - my age...197. 80% of that is...157.6. Oh my gosh!!! I'm way too high!!! Is that why I'm gasping for air and struggling to put one foot in front of the other? I've got to go slower."
I felt as if I were walking through a swimming pool filled with Elmer's glue. How could I get any slower without coming to a stand still? Even when resting, my heart rate would only drop to 180.
J and C were great. They continued to encourage me on, and not complain when I asked if we could rest. I finally stopped apologizing for the frequent rests.
We stopped for lunch about halfway up the mountain. J led us to a shady and cool valley where we could set down our packs and rest. I love shade.
I don't know how long we sat there, but it wasn't nearly long enough. All too soon we hit the road again.
I couldn't believe we were only halfway up.
Me: "J, how close would you say we are to the top?"
...long pause...
Me: "Or, do I want to know?"
J: " You don't want to know."
We continued hiking. Crawling from shady spot to shady spot to avoid the sun and the heat. About 1/2 mile from the summit, I had to stop--again. We rested for a bit, then prepared to make the final haul. 20 feet along, I suddenly felt really bad. Physically bad. I stopped and watched the other two slog up the hill ahead of me. I just couldn't do it. All the psychological willing in the world wouldn't convince my body to move. C stopped and looked back. I must have had an expression on my face because her's immediately grew concerned.
"Are you ok?"
"No, I don't feel very good....I...I think I'm just going to have to wait in the shade of the tree. I really don't feel good."
J came back and said he'd wait with me while C continued on to meet Z and D at the summit. Only 1/2 mile left! Why oh why did my body have to quit right then? I'd come so far already.
J found a shadier spot just off the road, where we could get a view and a breeze while we waited. It was a good thing too because I soon thought I was going to lose my lunch. I knew then that I had pushed my body too hard. Controlling my breathing, and attempting to psych myself out of throwing up, I sat with my head in my hands.
J: "Do you want to listen to some music?" (He had his ipod touch with him)
Me: "Sure."
J: "Korean or Classical?"
Me: (groan--feeling worse) "Hang on a sec. I can't talk." . . . "I don't care."
...pause...
Me: "Classical."
J turned on some Chopin, and I eventually lay back under the tree. As I gradually began to feel better, I think I may have dozed in and out. I think we spent an hour-and-a-half chatting and listening to Chopin under the scrub-oak. Sitting in the shade of a tree, with a great view, listening to Chopin, and talking to a friend--a very peaceful afternoon!
Going down was MUCH easier than coming up. It only took us 2 1/2 hours to get back to the car. And boy-oh-boy were we glad to see it! Trek start: 7:43am. Trek end: 5:10pm. The round trip hiking time took 9 hours to complete!
We stopped in at Albertsons again on our way back to church--and what a sight we must have been. Stiffness and pain were already setting in, and most of us limped and hobbled back toward the Gatorade.
The next day I could feel every single muscle south of my waist--and they were sure sore.
The hike was on Tuesday, and by Saturday, I never would have known I'd hiked 15 miles. I would like to do this hike again, and now that I know what it's like, I would prepare more ahead of time for the fitness challenge.
I wanted to share the EXCITING news that I just opened an online craft shop at Etsy. Etsy is an online store front where people can buy and sell handmade items.My shop name is: The Corner Cupboard, and it is opening its doors with handcrafted photo-cards and purses. The shop address is www.thecornercupboard.etsy.com
You can also take time to visit my blog associated with my shop (I know...another one?...). It's called My Corner Cupboard. There I will post updates and sneak previews of upcoming items.
So why is my Etsy "The Corner Cupboard," and my blog and business email "My Corner Cupboard?" I actually created the Etsy first when I bought something from an Etsy seller; only afterward did I decide to set up a blog that could be associated with my shop, but the blog name The C.C. was already taken, so I had to settle for the next closest thing: My C.C.
